Have a question about this? Bring it to Hypatia.
There is a sentence I hear often, usually near the end of a description of something that has clearly happened: "But I'm probably just being sensitive."
I want to ask about that sentence. Not to argue with it — to understand it.
Where did it come from? Who, specifically, taught you that your response to what happened is the problem rather than what happened? When did you learn that the appropriate interpretation of your own experience is to question your experience rather than examine the situation?
The sentence has a use: sometimes we are misreading situations, and genuine self-examination is valuable. But that is not usually what "probably just being sensitive" is doing. It is performing a pre-emptive dismissal of one's own experience — disqualifying the perception before anyone else can.
What would you say to a friend who told you exactly what you just told me? Not the "probably just being sensitive" part — the actual situation.
People are almost always much more willing to take their friend's experience seriously than their own. That asymmetry is worth examining.
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